Archive for September, 2008


September 30, 2008 Leave a comment

I had like a pretty big fight with my parents like three days ago because I told my mom I wanted to be homeless for a season just to try it out…

They didn’t like that and it escalated. I don’t fight much with them, and normally not this bad.

So I wrote a song over the last two days and I posted it up on if anyone wants to check it out…here are the words.

Getting Harder

Papa let me be a man,
Let me have my Jesus and still play in the sand,
Don’t cut supports from under me,
But if you do I’ll learn to walk eventually.

Mama please let me have your heart,
Mine’s cold and dry, yours is simply art.

You carry stones and are so worthy,
This hot coal sand, your crisp cool sea.

But without you there inside,
I’ll never quite fit into your name.

You carry stones and are so worthy,
This hot coal sand, your crisp cool sea.

Sometimes I just want to see the clearest ocean,
Sometimes I just want to see the filthy lakes.

You carry stones and are so worthy,
This hot coal sand, your crisp cool sea.

Don’t let me go, ready or not, alone alone because I’m not,
Don’t let me go, ready or not, alone alone because I’m not.


Single-Self Sighted

September 22, 2008 1 comment

1.5 Billion Muslims…2.1 billion Christians…900 million Hindus…376 million Buddhists…

So how are we supposed to expect that these people don’t have the exact same feelings on religion that you do? How do you expect that they don’t believe as strongly about their belief as you do? Why are you right and they are wrong?

I’m not saying what’s right or wrong here…I’m merely just saying think about it?

Feelings…feelings are just registries from the brain. If you can be brainwashed into thinking a certain way then it stands that you also can be brainwashed into feeling a certain way.

Think about fear…if you are brainwashed into a fear of spiders than you will elicit the same response every time you see or think of a spider.

And religion can’t be the same way?

Pascal’s wager is the only think that is logical…and it is still a chance. Then you have to move to WHICH god…so really Pascal’s wager is destroyed in the fact that there are so many gods in the world.

Who worships the sun these days? Does any religion? I don’t really know the true answer but I would venture that not many people do.

The Egyptians did though…why don’t we?

It’s because it is understood. Now that we know what the sun is and it’s function we can explain it…so now it is no longer something godly and mysterious…it is merely the sun.

So now we have moved on from the sun, the rivers, the moon, etc. to just one being that is impossible to understand. Why is it that we always have to have something we don’t understand? Why can’t we just see the world around us for what it is and begin breaking things down that fit for us? Why do we have to be special? People have to have another reason for a life of pathos…something that separates them from everyone else.

When what we should be searching for is a way to be just like everyone else and work together.

“People work together and they lifted many stones.” -Neil Young.

Liar or Idiot?

September 19, 2008 Leave a comment

Politicians are elected…why do we put so much value on them for that?

I want to run a campaign to be a brain surgeon. So if enough people vote for me then would you trust me to operate on you? The funny part is that if enough people believed in me then plenty of people would trust me and, hell, I’ll operate because I have more odds of helping than hurting.

So we’ve elected these people to be the brain surgeons of something much bigger. A country. And now we trust them, and now they act like they know what they’re doing…because they are “elected.”

Today a Senator made a statement saying that he only expected the recession to last for one more year. Then I started thinking. What the hell does he know? He’s just throwing out some damn numbers so that we will all calm down.

All these Senators and Congressmen are really much stupider than we are. No I say the word stupid with the intended meaning of “can’t think for yourself.” They are the apotheosis of stupid, the gods of being told what to think. They think for money, they think for lobbyists.

This global market is really terrifying. On the one hand if we tax the rich more then they are going to try to push more money and jobs overseas. And outsourcing is also terrifying because, I know they say that “it’s just jobs we won’t do,” but the statements are untrue. We may never get these jobs back. And where does it stop? Doesn’t it stand as logical that the smarter these countries get, and the more people that work for a lower wage, the more jobs will end up over there…hell why wouldn’t microsoft want to have a whole staff from India working for half the price?

Everyone will eventually suffer though, because if people make less wage then they will have less money to spend. Eventually it will catch up to these companies because their employees, who used to make so little, are now the top wage earners, and there will be less money flowing.

So really globalization is just separation and destruction of a global economy. Starting down a terribly unproductive path. We are teaching the world how to be the lower class. So we are starting to separate the rich and the poor on a global scale. Eventually there will be many many people working for big businesses (because small businesses can’t stand up to globalization). Leading to many rich businesses with many employees working for LOWEST possible price.

I really hoped that people could learn about truth and actually make their own decisions. If a company is using their employees in a dishonest manner you would hope people would make a stand and not shop there.

But every person that walks into Wal-Mart is just making a statement of how stupid they are. We are giving our moral value away in exchange for low prices.

Getting the lowest price isn’t always the best thing.

Kings of Leon “Only by the Night”

September 8, 2008 Leave a comment

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Kings of leon’s new cd “Only by the Night” leaked yesterday and so I’ve been listening to it non-stop.

It seems like they’ve really turned to melody as their main focus. And it was a slow but obvious change from the raw gut guitar driven sound of Youth and Young Manhood. It’s been happening slowly. There was a bit more in Aha Shake. Then Because of the Times with On Call. But this really took a big leap.

The guitar solos on OBTN are really melodic. There is very little jag in any of them. That grueling straight forward guitar has all but dissapeared.

I absolutely love the song Notion and I absolutely hate the Digitech guitar solo with the added harmony. It sounds like Daft Punk came in to do the solo on a Neil Young track.

I love KOL. But I really miss the sick blues of Trani and Spiral Staircase. I miss the teeth in songs like Soft and Razz. The change I liked up until now. I’m starting to worry. What will the next cd be like? Justin Timberlake?

It’s Me, Trying to be You

September 2, 2008 Leave a comment

I play and play and play and play music all day. And then I think about it on the side.

And apparently I hate a good portion of my music…and all of my singing.

For some reason I can’t let me be me, I have to try and be you (some other person that doesn’t sound like me or do anything I do). That would really help me out if I could just be you.

But I would probably hate being you.


I continue to forget that I am yellow.

My color, my code. It’s what I am.

I’ll remember for quite some time, and it will really help me along.

But then I slowly forget, because I’m yellow, that I am yellow. Then, I begin to just blame myself and not my color.

When I realize what I am then I can control who I am.

I’ve been putting out a very negative vibe to the people around me. It’s really affecting what people think about me and how I act around people.

If you are surrounded by people who you really just don’t click with, or people who are always bringing out your negativity, it will really kill your attitude, and having a deadend, dull, negative attitude will really kill your social life.

So my social life is dying slowly.

My surroundings are these; 3 roommates who are always preaching madness and brainwashed college- aged spam propoganda. They have a certain disease I call “Barachius Obamiism.” It’s a disease that tells people that an entity who is trillions of dollars in debt is a good investment and is looking out for your best interest.

2 Roommates are stuck in their own social circle and they are still hanging out with their lame old gang from high school and haven’t moved on.

1 roommate doesn’t know what’s going on in life.

And 1 roommate shouldn’t be there.

And I’m stuck in the middle.

My job is worthless…it pays that is it. I learn very little of nothing and they have me stuck to a computer all day doing who knows what.

The whole problem is that I have no one “like me” to release all this pressure and energy. There really only 1 person these last couple years who has given me that kind of freedom and pressure free existance to truly live and now he is in Seattle about to get hitched up.

I’m not here to complain but there is a point to all of this.

No…no there really isn’t.

So I’m on my own, actually I am more comfortable on my own. In fact I’ve met every girl I’ve gone out with in Salt Lake on my own. It’s quite liberating being able to stand on my own two feet, but also it’s really narrowed the quality of girls I have been able to meet.

And the only girl I’ve met and thought decent enough to go out with thinks that I like her roommate and so I got up and walked away from that.

And a quick note. I hate girls at parties. They always run around and act like they are something so special. They have to play this social card.

I’m sick of faking these cards and facades. It’s too much work and I’m sick of meeting someone and then going out with someone else with the same name then next week.

So is my life building or crashing down like an Apache Helicopter in the heat of some multi-leveled social battle for Alpha Male?

I put the guns down but then I just get walked on…uhhh. I don’t want to get them back out, but it’s seems like it’s war to win. The enemy has guns so I need to fight fire with fire.