Home > Music, Poetry, and Philosophy > “Ramble On”

“Ramble On”

December 8, 2008 Leave a comment Go to comments

I really don’t know what I’m going to do in life now…

I have to give music a chance…and I was way stoked to move to Boise to play.

But now I fear that I won’t be able to find a good enough group of musicians to play with.

I know that everyone says you should just enjoy and play the music. But I know that I don’t have a good enough voice to take it to the level I want. My fear is that I won’t find a good enough voice to go with the music I feel in my heart.

I’m about to give up and go sleep in my parents basement for the next 5 years. Then I’ll be too old for people to judge me and I’ll be too old for people to tell me to get married and make something with my life.

I feel so much pressure from mostly myself. I listen to bands like Oasis, Kings of Leon, the Libertines and I wonder how I can ever write that good of music. And then you just wonder if people even like good music anymore…

I don’t really care if I get famous let me just say that. I really just want to be satisfied by the fact that I have made good enough music, I want to prove to myself that I can. But unless some people like it and I get to tour for a while I won’t feel good enough about it.

I don’t know why I’m so into music. I try not to compare myself with Bob Dylan, Lou Reed, or Neil Young, but I do. These guys are heads and shoulders above me. Every time I listen to “Like a Rolling Stone,” or “Beginning to See the Light,” I just flip.

How can I do this?

Part of me wants to move to LA or New York. But then I don’t know if that would really solve my problem…

I still barely have enough energy to keep fighting off my family and all their negativity towards my dream…

I won’t make it much longer friends… I won’t commit suicide don’t worry. But I’m going to commit life suicide, where I just shoot every dream I’ve ever had in the head execution style and go get a degree and a job, fall in line, and hate everyone around me and my own self for the rest of eternity…

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